What if We Took Commercials Literally?

Now, since I tend to watch quite a bit of television, there are certain commercials that just are annoying. So what if we took them literally or took them to mean what they are implying?

Example 1
A VISA check card commercial shows a mall food court-type thing and people just waving the card to pay for fast food. Well, a couple people will use cash and the line moves to another restaurant. At the end, the tag line is something like "fast food requires fast payment." Now, I don't know what fast food places these ad wizards frequent, but I tend to find the slow places. Cash works very well when you wait 15 minutes for the workers to decide to serve my food.

Example 2
A Hormel ad shows the boss coming out and saying lunch is only 10 minutes long. As her coworkers fight over getting lunch, the main woman sits and enjoys her Hormel microwave product. Only one teensy tiny problem. See, as she is eating and relaxing, two coworkers start fighting over the microwave. So when does she use it and how does she not have to wait her turn or fight or something? Yeah, only needing 90 seconds is nice, but not if the microwave is taken. So what does it matter in this commercial that she has it? How did she warm it up?

Example 3
There is this Folger's commercial with some actress lady (that is what the words on the screen say at least) and how blah blah blah, kids, only get to sit and drink coffee once a morning. Wait a second. I thought she was an actress. Why couldn't she drink coffee during the day? I mean, stage actress she can't drink on stage, but that is only at night right (whenever the show is)? And if she is a regular actress, doesn't she like have a trailer or something or a craft service table to drink coffee at?

Example 4
Subway has this ad where everybody is throwing their cup in the air and spilling pop because they keep winning at some game. So, if you are interested in the Subway game, try to find the place where everybody is soaked in Pepsi. Hey, gotta play the odds, right?

Example 5
So in a Target ad, they keep changing around this dorm room in different designs at a low cost. Except, the first room looks like it has all these fancy stereos and stuff. Umm...where the heck were those deals when I was in school? Yeah, I don't think it is all that cheap.

See what happens when ad wizards are taken at their word. Not pretty, no. All I know is that those ads are bloody annoying.